So you think you have it all figured out, huh?

Yeah. I did too.

It flopped in my face. Like a big, fat, whale fin, slapping me in my face screaming, "Na na na na booo boo, you have no idea!!! Neenerr neeener neeeeeener!"

All my life, I figured teaching was my gig. I, Meladie Stark, was (may likely still be...no one knows at this point) going to be a teacher. And it was my calling. And it was my purpose. But also, worship was/is my calling. And also maybe my purpose. So five and a half years in school, BIG, FAT, BUTT loads of money later, I'm scared that things may be changing.

I sort of forgot about the worship thing. I missed it terribly, and look back at my times being a worship leader with reverence and nostalgia. Remembering it as the time when I felt like I was flourishing, like I was doing what I was supposed to do.

I also felt that way when I did my student teaching. Well, during most of it, anyway. So, Jay and I hung out in Fond du Lac, until I finished my Education Degree, so that we could move up to Minnesota, and find the teaching job of my dreams. Jay would find a Starbucks where he could pursue being a Starbucks manager. There in Minnesota, we would be happy. There in Minnesota, presumably in a couple months, we would have our own home, we would have our own life established. Oh, and we would have loads of friends by our side, having cool patio parties, laughing and smiling as we watch the sunset on a beautiful day.

BAH. HA. HA. HA.

Naturally, that sounds amazing. Naturally, we would want that to happen. Looking at that idea now, it almost makes me sick it's so happy. Like, when you watch romance movies and it's so flippin' sappy it makes you sick. Sort of like Edward and Bella. Sorry, but yeah, I just referenced Twilight. And yeah, I just referenced the fact that it makes me want to puke now and then. (But you can bet I'll be one of those sillies who goes to see it still in theatres. Don't judge me.)

Well, here we are, almost 8 months later, still living with in-laws, still jobless (on my part), and Jay just found out that he is forced to be demoted, resulting in a pay-cut. Oh and we are already broke. Anyway, this isn't a blog post about the frustrations of being in the negative, or hoping someone will take pity on us. We know and trust that God will bring us through this time, just as He does every other time. But, this is all a part of describing how our plan flopped in our faces.

So. Here we are, 8 months later, jobless and/or broke to the bone. No friends. Yes, we have family and we are gratetful for them beyond words, but I think we can all agree having friends makes the world of a difference in your life (Minus my dear friend Allison, don't want to exaggerate, here! And our friend Billa!) We still live with in-laws. We've lived with parents for a total of one year now. And up till a couple of weeks ago, we seriously considered moving back to Fond du Lac.

Not because we like the area, because we don't (sorry everyone over there, it just isn't the place for us!). Sure, we know people there which would be comforting and fun, but moving because of a couple friends isn't necessarily legit.  But we considered it. We were getting fed up with our unsuccessful ventures here in Minnesota. Jay and I discussed the idea, and I said, "Look. We've been going to this church for a few months, and we really haven't tried putting our feet out in the water to try and make friends. Let's try a little harder and see how it goes."

So we tried. I tried attending a young women's craft night. Jay contacted some guys in the young couples group (the young women's craft night is a part of the young couples group), and while I don't think the craft night was a huge success, it was a step in the right direction. Same with Jay. Two Sundays later, we actually had some of them approach us after the church service. THAT, my friends, was awesome.

Not to mention, the week after my craft night adventure, I contacted the Worship Director, in hopes of getting involved in the worship ministry. Since I love and miss being a part of a worship team.  I met with him that week, and YAY! I am a part of the team!

Alright! So Jay and I are beginning to see strides of improvement and success. Then....

BAM! It hits us like a ton of bricks. That was the weekend that Jay found out he had to step down as shift supervisor, and go back to being a barista. A pay cut, a set back for sure.  Then....

BAM! We are hit with another ton of bricks. I am (almost) offered a position as an interim worship leader. A job, no less, in my passion field of worship. I won't go in to details about the position, because I don't know where that is going quite yet.

So confusion sets in. More confusion continues to set in after we go to a great bonfire at the worship director's home. We had some amazing talks. And I realize, that yes, I love teaching, and yes, I love worship. So which one do I pursue? Of course, I can pursue both. But maybe not in the way I have always envisioned. Anyone else see the correlation between teaching and worship leading? They go hand in hand. This worship director is all gun-hoe in helping me further a ministry career in worship leading. He wants to get me there, if that's what I want to do! So now, the prayer phase begins.

And then more confusion sets in. After a long discussion about how being happy in life really revolves around finding out what you love to do, and pursuing it. So, the worship director asks Jay, "So, what do you love to do?" That is when Jay responds, "...I don't know." So another prayer phase begins.

Neither of us really know what we want to do. I've always known. At least, I thought I did. We have ideas on what we both want to do with our lives, but we are thinking it's a little different (or a lot different) than what we thought we wanted.

So, we've thrown away our plan. We have no idea what will happen next, but will follow what we think God is leading us to. Let me tell you, since we've thrown away our plan, we've seen so many things begin to brew.

And this is where we need you, fellow readers. We are praying steadfast for God's guidance and direction, and will in our lives. We need your prayers, too! We are excited, finally excited about what is next! We have NO idea what that is, which is scary and won't be easy, but you know what, we have the best Guide in our life we could possibly hope for. Our lives are taken care of. Amen.