The Cat’s Out of the Bag!

Alright, so some of you may have been watching on facebook, and most of you probably haven’t, which is just as fine!

If you follow me on this blog you’ll notice it’s been quite a long time since I’ve posted one. I’m not so great at the whole blogging thing. Oh well.

Well, here I am, blogging to you today because something rather LARGE has happened.

Many of you know already that I’ve been pursuing jobs in nannying, and many of you also know that Jay and I have been thinking about our future, and how we feel that it will lie in Florida.

Well. I applied for a full-time nanny position in Tampa, Florida. And guess what? I got the job! Assuming my trial period goes well. And I’m thinking positive about that because this family is a really great family and I get along with them well. And their little boys? A.Dor.Able. They fun, full of energy, smart, and a blast to be with! They stole my heart in a matter of a day and a half.

*WOAH, Back up, did you just say FLORIDA, Mel?*

Why, yes I did. Seems random? Probably. Seems sudden? It is. I’m writing this blog post because I want to answer the many questions that are probably arising. Because the other major part of this is, Jay and I will be living in separate states for a year, or at least for a few months. That part isn’t so cool, but we both feel and have felt that God has given us this opportunity and that we are to take it. We started long distance, so we know how it works. Yes, we know we are married now and that changes how the long distance relationship would feel. Just keep reading.

So I’ve created this list of “Frequently Asked Questions”. I’m assuming these are the questions I’d be getting.    :D

Q: Why Florida?
A: Jay and I have felt a pull to Florida for a year now. We had a feeling that God would lead us to Florida in the future. Granted, we didn’t think Florida would be in our midst right now, but God is always full of surprises, isn’t He? :) As far as a reason beyond that? When we vacationed to Florida with some great friends south of Orlando a little more than a year ago, we felt at home. We loved the area, and the people. Believe it or not, we seriously considered staying there, and not moving to Minneapolis first. But, alas, God did have a plan for us in Minneapolis, even if it was a short while. And looking back, we both see how God has orchestrated this to happen. Don’t like my answer? Too bad. :-P

Q: Are you and Jay okay?
A: Some of you may be confused as to why Jay and I will be living separately for a year, or at least for a few months. To clear the air, YES, we are doing more than okay. In fact I feel we are stronger than ever before, and in love more than ever before. The thought of living separately stinks big-time, and we know it will be a challenge. We also have seen couples that have to be separated for a year or more (like families where one of the parents is in the army). They survive. In fact, their love seems to grow and flourish. Absence makes the heart grow fonder? I think so. I don’t want to compare this to an army family, I think their situation is much different, but the comparable thing is that they are living separately for a while. And, unlike army families who don’t get to communicate all that often, Jay and I will have the wonders of Skype every evening. We’ve even planned some dates to Starbucks and Applebee’s, you know, places with Wi-Fi? That way we can both go to the place and both order something and enjoy it together. Not the same I know, but it’s something :) I also imagine that with this particular situation, we will work out visits here and there. So, I’ll see him from time to time. And guess what? It’s just a year. We can do it, and it will be over in a flash!

Q: What happens when the year is over?
A: Jay will join me in Florida and we can continue our lives together! We really feel that Florida is where God is leading us. He has peace about this situation, and I have peace about this situation. And considering how big and fast of a change this will be for us, it’s amazing we have any peace at all!

Q: What family are you nannying for?
A: A family of four. Mom, Dad, and two little boys. I would give more information, but until I understand the amounts of confidentiality they may ask for, I will keep specifics quiet. And if they want complete confidentiality, they will get it. All you need to know is that they are a good family, with good morals and ethics. They are so amazing! It is an incredible honor to be considered like this as their nanny.

Q: Are you sure you want to do this?
A: YES! Jay and I are ecstatic and excited about this opportunity. We understand it’s a big change, we understand it seems sudden, but we trust that God is using this situation to bless us and take us to where He wants us to be.

Q: I thought you wanted to be a teacher?
A: Yes. I do. However, subbing this last year has taught me something I would have never learned in Student Teaching, or in my dreams. You see, in my dreams teaching looks so different. In my dreams teaching is a glorious job, where we are appreciated for what we do, where the children are respectful to their elders, where even in a busy lifestyle like a teacher, that I would have low stress levels. I’ve found over the past year that I am a high anxiety person. Teaching? Only seems to increase that anxiety. While I was student teaching, I always had the “true” person in charge to help me. The teacher. I’ve realized over this past year that teaching is much different than I had hoped, and yes, that’s not exactly what I was hoping to realize. I LOVE working with kids. I love working on them in MUCH smaller ratios. I feel that’s where I can truly utilize my gifts, knowledge, and talents. I feel that’s where I can truly get to know the child I am teaching and really see them grow as an individual. Nannying provides me with that one-on-one, or one-on-two work with children. I can watch them grow, laugh with them, play with them, and truly feel like my talents aren’t being wasted. It’s heartbreaking to work in a class of 30 and be the only teacher during math time and not having enough time to help everyone get up to speed. It’s so hard. And I commend teachers that have those gifts. It’s not easy. And you know what, maybe someday I will get there! I’m young. But for now, I feel God has brought me to nannying for a purpose. And I can’t wait to see it unfold!

What else...hmmmm...I can’t think of any other “Frequently Asked Questions”....if you think of any let me know! :D



Well! That will be all for now. I hope you can all see that Jay and I are excited and that we feel this is the right step for us. We know and trust that God is working through this, and that this isn’t something we created.

So. Now you know. :) We can't wait!!!

I must really be something special...

I opened up my devotional book and today's message really struck me. And I thought I would share it:

February 15 (Numbers 3:1-39)

"I invite you to come close to me."

"Anyone other than a priest or LEvite who went too near the sanctuary was to be put to death."  Numbers 3:38

"Did you receive your invitation today? Maybe a better question would be, Did you know Someone sent you one? It's nice to be remembered and welcomed by someone. But when that person is Almighty God, the Commander of Earth and Heaven, the value of a daily invitation can't be measured.

He didn't always let people come close to Him. During Old Testament days, only the high priest was allowed to enter the Tabernacle's Most Holy Place, and only once a year. Commoners weren't allowed near such sacred ground under penalty of death.

However, Jesus' death on our behalf changed that, and we live in the age of grace and warm welcomes from God. Not only does he tolerate us, but he cherishes time with us.

He craves time with us. How many of us crave time with Him? Sure, we get warm feelings whenever we choose to "bless" him with our presence. Even with the best of intentions to make Him our number-one priority, we still get distracted by the all-important items on our agendas. As if He doesn't have a to-do list longer than we could fathom! He doesn't need our time, but He wants it. And He knows we need that time with Him.

Today, spend a few moments sharing your heart and quieting your spirit with Him. That time is sacred, something people thousands of years ago couldn't enjoy. Yet it's yours any time you want it.

Will you respond to His invitation and join Him?"

-This excerpt belongs to: The Daily God Book: A Year of Listening For God by Erin Keeley Marshall-




Wow. I realized that sometimes (more often than not) I have that attitude, of, I guess I can grace my Father with my presence. As if I'm something really special. Okay, I know I'm special, but when that attitude of "I'm going to grace the Lord with my presence" comes out it's really not an attractive quality...

Truth be told, I may have that attitude sometimes, but I really don't intend for that to come across. Truth be told, I do want to bask in my Father's presence, to be moved by Him, to give Him glory He deserves, but I get so caught up in my life that I rarely take the time to do that.

And then I selfishly thought...why does he "deserve" my time? That doesn't sound cool to me. And then I thought about the reading I read today..."He didn't always let people come close to Him. During Old Testament days, only the high priest was allowed to enter the Tabernacle's Most Holy Place, and only once a year...Jesus' death on OUR behalf changed that..."

So wait. Why did God send His one and only son to die for US? Because of our sin.

Wait. What? So God sent HIS son to die for OUR sin. That hardly seems fair. God sent His son to die to save us from our sin that He has nothing to do with?

The answer is yes.

Our God is a Holy, Sovereign, Forgiving God. He is also Jealous. He created us, and had the nerve to give us free will, knowing what that might mean. I then wondered, "Why did God give us free will, if He knew we might stray from Him, especially when He created us for Him?" And then it hit me. Would it be fulfilling to have someone love you, when you made them love you? God gave us free will because He wants us to love Him on our own decision. It wouldn't be a fulfilling love for Him if he made us without free will, knowing that we love Him only because He made us that way. He wants us to love Him because we choose to love Him.

Oh man. So all of this is hitting me this morning, and all I can think is, "I am truly loved. Inside, and out. My sins bare all, and He still loves ME." It's truly baffling. I felt like I needed to share this with all of you who choose to read this...because maybe, just maybe you'll have the same revelations and wow-factors after reading this.

It's amazing that even though I've come to the idea that I am loved by God hundreds of times, and come to the idea that God loves us beyond our sin, and sent His son to die for our sins, but each revelation brings me into a deeper understanding of God's love for me/us. And while I grow deeper in this Love that I am slowly understanding, I feel at the same time that there is no way I will ever truly understand God's love for me/us.

God's love is crazy. Impossible. Nuts. But I am so glad that I have His love. Aren't you? :)

Fable Realizations

So, I stayed up last night playing video games.

What? Yep. I said video games. I have recently been sucked into Fable. I beat Fable II and now I'm on Fable III, this time, with no help from my husband...because I'm just awesome like that (He pretty much helped me beat the whole game in Fable II).

Anyway. I'm not here to brag about my awesome gaming skillz. Or...make me look like a loser... :-P

I was playing video games and got this overwhelming sense of guilt. You see, I've been playing this game almost religiously. And I'm embarrassed to say that I've probably played about 2 hours a day...at least. That's a LOT of time in my day.

Topic switch. I have not been attempting to give my God any time at all throughout my days. To be honest, I don't want to. I used to love giving Him time everyday, and then somehow I lost interest. Probably because I didn't feel that the time with Him was worth it. I didn't "get anything" out of it. There was a time, however, that I did. I craved His Word daily, I craved talking to Him. I miss those days, when I felt so "filled". And when I began feeling "un-filled", I stopped.

Back to video games. So last night when I began feeling an overwhelming sense of guilt, I realized how much time I was giving to video games. And how much time I was not giving to the Lord. Certainly I could have spared an easy 5 minutes (at the very least) to read a passage in His Word and pray sometime in my day, but I didn't. And I wasn't.

So. This morning, before I turned on ANY electronics like my phone, TV, computer, iPod, etc (because once I do that I find it's hard to stop and give time to God) I ate my breakfast contemplating how to do devotions. To be honest I don't even know what to do anymore.

So after a long talk with God (recalling everything I've felt about my relationship with Him in the past few years) I cracked open my "The Daily God Book: A Year of Listening For God" and read the devotion for January 6th. It was about God's faithfulness through the generations. HA. That's something I definitely needed to read. But more importantly, after my reading I continued to talk with God.

After a random list of topics that I prayed about, I eventually ended up on a topic that had nothing to do with today's devotion. I realized that I stopped asking the Lord for opportunities to love people. Because, well, working in retail a year ago, let me just say loving on some people seemed impossible. GEEZ some of those customers can be hard to love. And if you've worked retail you know what I am talking about.

I realized why I stopped asking for those opportunities to love on people. It's because I was hoping to get opportunities to love people that I considered "easy to love". You know, the people who look like they are hurting, and just need a comforting word, or maybe a pat on the back. But heaven forbid I love on someone who has done me wrong. And those were the opportunities God kept on giving me.

God never wants to challenge you with something that's easy. Granted, there will be the times when it is easy to love, because well, those people do need love. But the people who aren't easy to love, they need love just as much. And I'm hoping to succeed at that one of these days. It won't be easy, but if I keep asking God for those opportunities, perhaps I will begin to succeed at loving the impossible.

So my challenge for the day, please feel free to join me :)...

Love on someone today who you don't think deserves it. They need it just as much as the rest of us.

Why I Love You (In no particular order)

You make me laugh.

You understand me. And even when I make no sense, you still love me.

You enjoyed Disney World with me. Even with my ridiculous childlike tendencies :)

You're the hardest worker I know. You deserve the world. 

You want the best for me. Even if it means you don't get what you want. You're selfless.

You see my heart.

You let me know when I'm being ridiculous.

You are honest. I can always trust your word.

You see my tears and try to mend them.

You enjoy cooking with me :)

You love IKEA.

You smell good.

You love God. And you want to please Him.

You care for others.

You want to help other people.

You enjoy making people happy.

You dance when no one is watching :)

You like every type of music ranging from William Fitzsimmons to Nikki Minaj.

You love your family.

You love my family.

You think I'm beautiful.

You open my car door. And shout "stop!" when I'm about to open my own car door.

You married me.

You have braved so many midnight showings, even though you don't like big groups of people.

You are thoughtful.

You make me feel like a superstar.

You understand that even though I say I'm okay, that I'm not.

You went behind my back with my Dad to make sure I had a piano to play <3

You love my love for playing music.

You have never seen me teach, but assume that I have to be the best.

You know I'm supposed to be a teacher. Even when I doubt myself.

You help do "chores" around the house. And I don't even have to ask.

You're so stinkin' handsome.

You're humble.

You were meant for me. God made you that way.

You love Nutella.

You get so passionate about your work.

You help me with every technology discrepancy.

You get so excited about the strangest things. Like Sour Patch Kids.

You buy me chocolate. 

You sing to me. I love it when you sing.

You are my technology geeky husband.

You have made me the happiest woman in the WORLD.

I think I could keep going, but it's time I move on with my day. Happy Birthday to the most amazing man I know. I love you, Jay Stark!

-starkstruck-

Life. As of recently.

Well?

Life has certainly taken a complete turn as of 2 months ago. It seems like yesterday I was sitting there, being a drama queen, whining and crying that life wasn't going the way I wanted it to.

I certainly learned a lot, and a lot about myself over the last year.  I am an anxious person. I tend to live in the future. I envy others. I'm very self-centered.

I also learned a lot to counter-act those not so great qualities I learned about myself. While I may be taking medicine to help my anxiety, I have learned to try and not sweat the small stuff. Or even the big stuff (that stuff is much harder to "not sweat" but I'm learning). I've learned to love what I have now, and to enjoy life NOW. I've learned that Jay and I have actually quite a bit. I love what we have and feel content with where we are. As far as being self-centered? Well it's a battle every day to remember that it's not all about me. But it's not.

So while the last year was probably the biggest struggle of my life, it taught me a lot and has helped me to realize many things. It wasn't all bad either, there were many things I enjoyed through the last year as well.

We are enjoying our new apartment. It was just as exciting as when we moved into our first place in Fond du Lac. Gathering things, and setting up our new place after living with others for over a year. We are enjoying our relatively new church, and the people we are meeting there. Jay is loving his new job and I enjoy subbing - it works until I can someday get a teaching job! Whenever that may be :) However I will need to find something for when sub jobs begin to die out and summer comes, but I'm not worried about that.

ANYWAY!

This last weekend was amazing. So was the weekend before that!

Last weekend Jay and I had our wonderful friends Heather and Tim visit. We had a blast at the Mall of America, IKEA, a late night cafe in Uptown called Uncommon Grounds, making "Pad Thai", and just enjoying eachothers' company. If only we could be closer so we could enjoy eachothers' company more often.

This past weekend I had my friend Laura over to make Christmas Cookies...which didn't turn out but we still made cookies and enjoyed eachothers' company! Jay and I went on a triple date with my grandparents-in-law :), my sister-in-law and her boyfriend. It was SO much fun. And we finished the Saturday with a duet with my friend Allison and ended the night with barrels of fun at Applebee's for half-price apps. Sunday involved church, visiting at the Jackson Resort, and finally, an Ugly Sweater Party.

So what does the next weekend bring? Christmas. After that, I'm hoping for a quiet weekend and then maybe eventually some more guests! :)

I couldn't say this 2 and a half months ago, because of where my heart was, but today I can finally say: I love life. Again. And it feels good.

The Ever Changing "Plan"

So. 

We moved to Minnesota with a plan.

That failed. And our plan changed.

And then that plan failed. (Pretty much we've decided our plans never work. Unless of course, they are the plan God has for us. Which I guess those plans haven't coincided yet. :) But that's okay.)

Our most recent plan that failed was that we would stick it out living with Jay's parents for a long time. We love living with them and they are amazing, but as many married couples could agree, sometimes married couples need their space. Especially newly married couples, who are trying to establish themselves as a married couple. So we planned on sticking it out for a year, or maybe even two years longer than we planned, so that we could save up for a down payment on a house.

Seriously. How do all these newlywed young couples afford a house so early on? I mean, loads of people I know haven't been married long, or haven't even been married yet! And they have a house purchased before they even get married, or get a house within what seems like weeks. Jay and I could potentially afford a house...except for one big issue: the Down Payment. Ohhhh the dreaded Down Payment. It seems so out of reach.

Like I said. That plan also failed. We reached a point last week where we decided it was time for us to move on. With Jay's new job (yay for weekends and nights with my husband!) we could easily save up for a down payment, except it would still take close to a year or more to get a decent down payment, even with a first time home buyers' grant. However, I (and Jay too) decided that it's really about time we get our own space.

So it's back to the renting world for us. Renting out an apartment. Not what we wanted originally, but if we are careful we will still be able to save up slowly. And if it allows us to build our newlywededness (sorry I think I just made that poorly spelled word up), then that's worth it. 

SO! :-D We are happy to report that we have found an apartment that will suit our needs quite well! We are both excited to start planning the set up, future furniture (that will be coming in slowly as time goes), and having our own space that we can call "our own". 

And guess what? Assuming it all goes to plan (which we have learned is not always the case), we will be renting a 2 Bedroom + Den apartment. What does that mean? It means there is a WHOLE room, waiting for wonderful guests to come and visit. :)

We are excited! If all goes to plan, we should be moving out December 1st! I guess it would be okay to pray for good weather? (And by that I mean no snow blizzard? And perhaps above freezing temps, if we are super lucky?)

Just a quick update. That's all folks! Time to make dinner :)

Sighs of relief.

I was so excited this weekend. For the first time in years, I would be playing music with a worship team, and even having the privilege of leading a song.

And then I woke up Saturday morning. I could hardly talk. MAN. Seriously? So Jay and I googled ways to get raspy voices doctored back to normal. I didn't talk at all on Saturday. That is, until Saturday night when I just got so bored of not talking. Did you know how much talking is so vital and important? It takes a lot of patience and work to communicate with no voice.

So. No talking. Lots of tea and honey with lemon, ricola, water, and ibuprofen (I learned from a trusted musician source that it could help).

So there we were (almost) all day, our friends Billa, and Cyle and Caleb (who came up from Fondy) got to spend all day with us. Man, oh man, was it a riot. Billa did a great job of helping the guys decipher what I was trying to say with my charade motions, and we had a few laughs (though mine were mainly silent) along the way.

Here are a couple pictures from our apple orchard excursion:

 The girls.

 A classic.

 The temporarily crippled Cyle trying to hop the rope.

I was grumpy in this photo because everyone was eating apples. And they shouldn't have.

At any rate, my voice improved and I was hopeful that by the next morning, I would be back in business. Hardly able to contain my excitement, I fell asleep Saturday night, in extreme anticipation of being a part of a worship ministry again.

Three a.m. rolls around. I wake up. I sit there, for what seems like FOREVER, but of course it's only a half hour later. I could not for the life of me fall back asleep! Which was sort of stinky because I knew I needed it. But in an attempt to not wake up Jay, I left the room and watched some movie with Michael J. Fox on OWN. Not exactly the best way to spend my time, but I was too tired to do anything else. Except fall asleep.

And then the time finally rolled around! EEK! Yippee! So I made it to the church for practice. But something was off.

Lights flickering, on and off, power going, beeps coming from the electrical units all over. Yep. The church lost power just moments before everyone arrived. And it wasn't seeming to come back on. Meanwhile, time is ticking and we were trying to figure out a backup plan just in case the lights didn't even turn on. We found flood lights and created a cool, intimate atmosphere.

Naturally, being in a huge room, with some guitars and a beautiful grand piano, and no microphones, I couldn't hear anything when I played. So I tried playing softly but it was still hard. Figuring that God meets us anywhere, that we would just figure it out and God would move through the worship.

Then. 8:20 rolls around. (1st service starts at 9) Power goes on, everything starts working. We figure, hey, if the power goes off again we are set, but might as well use it. So with less than 20 minutes to practice a whole set list with musicians I had never played with, we rocked it out. Service began and it went awesome!

Can I just say, I felt alive with that piano. With the other musicians, hearing the congregation singing along. I could hardly contain what was inside of me! That is what I was made for. That is what we were all made for. To give glory to our Creator. Even in times of discomfort and struggle. And man, times are uncomfortable and difficult right now. A few weeks ago I was not giving God glory. Things sucked. At least, I made them seem that way. With what I have learned in the past three weeks, I feel so different. I feel like I am regaining who I once was, back again.

Ahhhhhhhhhh. :) Sighs of relief.